


Life's one blessing

by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden)



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt/Comfort, Jaskier | Dandelion Whump, Rregetful Geralt, Sadness, post 1x08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:55:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28057236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Of_Dresden/pseuds/ClaraCivry
Summary: Jaskier's badly hurt, and Geralt can't stop thinking about those last words he said to him in that mountain.For the bad things happen bingo prompt: "Parting words regret"
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 9
Kudos: 220
Collections: Angsty Angst Times, Geralt is Sorry





	Life's one blessing

There's lots of horrible things that Geralt has done over his many, many years in this world.

He has butchered, he has massacred hundreds of people, of beings, of monsters and even more monstrous humans. He has seen the light go out on something living and had, once or twice, even smiled after a particularly annoying foe that thought they could get him no problem had bitten the dust.

He has practically bathed in his opponents' blood, and he has used magic to carry out some very unspeakable acts. And yet, in this moment of this day, none of them feels as horrible as that one little sentence he decided to say goodbye to his most loyal friend with.

_"If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands."_

How could he be that cold, that incredibly cruel and despicable to someone who had not only accepted him and sought him out despite his many social limitations, but had made his life so much easier with his songs? Even after being on the receiving end of so much abuse, Jaskier had still painted him a hero in his hero in his songs, which he sang all around the very many places he visited.

And it could have been the other way around, too. Jaskier could have simply got tired of all the insults and the disregard, and started singing about how the White Wolf got dark, about how he killed without a single thought of consideration. Hell, Jaskier could have sung about him killing little children and drinking the blood of virgins, and why would people not believe him? But instead, the bard decided to paint him on a very nice light, sang praises Geralt knows he didn't deserve.

Now he is struggling to even breathe, beaten up by some mage apprentice trying to get some secret of his Witcher friend's. He'd cleaned the blood of the bard's face and chest, but that only served to reveal the messy gashes and the horrible bruising underneath. Horrors.

Geralt should have been happy, shouldn't he? That life had given him that one blessing, that Jaskier had disappeared. And yet... ever since he said those damned words, he's been regretting them. Thinking of all the nice things Jaskier has done for him, thinking of all the times the bard has looked out for him, put himself in danger for his sake, simply asked how he was. Something that had been missing from his life, a true blessing, and Geralt had pissed on it.

"Isn't he supposed to be getting better?" Geralt asks the healer impatiently, knowing like he knows that he has to wait.

"I can't work miracles, witcher. Or maybe I could, but maybe they would have consequences you're not foreseeing."

And Geralt can't put Jaskier on the way of more "consequences", of any more horrors. He's been abducted for his sake, beaten up, cursed, Jaskier has nearly died so many times he's lost count, he can't do that again. But this is making Geralt realise...

That the last thing he ever said to him was that, horror of horrors. _If life could give me one blessing it would be to take you off my hands._

Look at him, Geralt, pale and wheezing uncomfortably in a bed, blue eyes eyes closed, writhing in pain even while unconscious. This man took your side when no one would even approach, when the world considered you a monster, and stayed by you despite... yourself. And the last thing you fucking said to him...

Realising things is crap, Geralt has decided. What is he supposed to do with the information that he cares about Jaskier so much he wants to tear down walls? How is he supposed to act now? _If life could give me If life could give me If life could give me If life could give me_

Jaskier lets out a little moan in his sleep, and Geralt wonders if he's having a bad dream. A dream of betrayal, for example, a dream of having someone you care about breaking your heart in a thousand little pieces. And the bard is used to rejection, Geralt knew, he'd been rejected and booed at for all his life but something different broke when Geralt had said that fateful sentence.

It had hurt in an special, deeper way, and it was the last thing he'd said, and Jaskier does not, at all, deserve that pain. But what the fuck can he do? Write him a song too? Apologize with a myriad of gifts in the form of lovers? Would that even matter, would any of it help undo the damage? Can it even be undone?

Geralt has his face in his hands, sighs deeply into it, loathes himself and every droplet of blood coursing through him. He tries to remember Jaskier's voice, his smile, all of his ideas, but it's getting harder to remember. He's supposed to wait, but what if Jaskier has no time? What if he's been abused too many times and now he can't come back from this?

He'll have died for an ungrateful bastard, whose last act of friendship was hurting him an almost unimaginable way. Way to go, Geralt.

_If life could give me If life could give me If life could give me If life could give me_

Geralt... He takes Jaskier's sweaty hand, holds it, rests his forehead on it.

There's something he needs to say.

"If life could give me one blessing... it would be to bring you back, safe and sound."

Jaskier's eyes don't open.

Geralt is left alone with his self-loathing, his regret and the dawning realisation that his fuck up this time, may not have a solution.

"If life could give me one blessing, it would be take my words and cruelty back."

And so Geralt waits, he waits and waits and waits. Realising things is truly shit.

"Life already gave me a blessing, and it was you."

He waits for his blessing to come back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> If you enjoyed, you know you want to leave a comment ;)


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